


Fertility Directives

by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi, Then a threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, almost a threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-26 11:39:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2650664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Kaidan make babies...with some help from their friends.</p><p> <br/>----------<br/><i>The worst part was that they hadn't yet repaired the facilities for arbitrary things like artificial insemination. This meant that Shepard and Kaidan would have to go outside their marriage. That was fine with both of them for Humanity's sake, and they did want children. The problem was that while Kaidan had a natural attraction to women, Shepard did not. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> For the kinkmeme.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Samantha have to procreate for Humanity. Kaidan sits on the sidelines and offers encouragement.

"I don't think I can do this..." Shepard's voice trailed off into the darkened room. The sound of the hot tub was still bubbling in the air after seeing a few rounds of euphoria thanks to a full bottle of wine they had polished off.

"It's just sex. You've faced worse, we've faced worse. We took down a giant mechanical army in case you've forgotten," said Kaidan, a warm hand fluttering over Shepard's chest as it rose and fell. "No one's reminded you today."

"That's easy for you to say, you actually like women."

"Yeah, but I LOVE you!" he said with a light kiss on Shepard's neck. "It'll only take five minutes, if I know you," he snickered.

"That's only because your ass is so hot I can't help myself, Love," said Shepard. Kaidan chuckled at his admission as a hand snaked down his back and pinched his ass. "Five minutes unless I don't get it right the first time."

"I'm sure that's all it'll take, stud! I'm more concerned about you having to keep your hands off me for so long. Seriously? Two days? That's way too long."

"That's what the doctor said, to build up my potency or something. And wasn't the point of tonight to get it out of our system?"

"You'll never be out of my system...," Kaidan's voice trailed off into a deep kiss.

~~~

They woke to a beeping sound from the comm system the next morning. Shepard instinctively brought up his omni-tool and put the vidcom on the screen by the end of their bed. He sat up groggily and pulled the blanked over his chest as a familiar voice rang in his ears.

"Oh, Commander...sorry to wake you. I just wanted to let you know that I have landed safely and I'll be in sometime tomorrow. I think around noon, maybe after...not sure yet actually. You guys live so far out! I'll let you know for sure when I get checked into the hotel. I'll probably spend the morning at the pool, a massage perhaps. I'm in dire need of some R&R. And yes, I remembered my toothbrush this time. Is it still okay that I can stay with you? If not, that's fine. I can extend my reservation here or find a room somewhere else. Might as well though since I'll be living there for awhile, and I know you two have the room. God, I love your house! Can't beat the view of the Pacific. Kaidan's idea no doubt. Hi, Kaidan!!"

"Still rambling, I see," said Shepard dryly.

"You better be nice to me! I'm going to have our baby, Commander. Or should I say, Admiral?"

"It's just honorary. You know we're retired. And yes, you can stay with us. We do have the room."

"See you guys tomorrow. Bye Kaidan, bye future baby daddy!"

"Bye Sam," said Kaidan before cutting the comms and pulling Shepard back down. He rolled on top of him and kissed his way down his chest.

"Kaidan, we can't..."

"You can't!" he said with a sly smile.

"You're insatiable. Just wait till you have to go through this!"

~~~

They were sitting down to lunch when Traynor knocked. Kaidan jumped up and ran to the door. Shepard had opened it with his omni-tool before he had reached it. Sam and Kaidan were sharing a deep embrace when he rounded the corner into the vestibule.

"Shepard! You guys look great! I can hardly tell that you're retired. Our baby is going to be gorgeous! The best genes on the planet. No offense, Kaidan!"

"None taken. I'd have to agree. Have you eaten? We're just having lunch, come join us."

"Thanks, I'm starving."

"It's good to see you," said Shepard as he took her in his arms and gave her a big hug.

They led her back to the table where they caught up during lunch, but shortly after, the conversation started getting awkward. Kaidan had suggested that they go upstairs and get the whole thing over with while the other two were stalling like crazy trying to buy time until the inevitable.

It was a mandatory requirement, an expected contribution, that every man on Earth had to father at least one child from two different women, and every woman had to give birth to one child, barring health restraints and age restrictions. The ratio of men to women had been so skewed by the end of the war that women out numbered men by almost 3:1.

It was similar to initiatives on other Council planets and was disguised as propaganda to rebuild Earth and Humanity after the destruction inflicted by the Reapers. Shepard could have opted out if he wanted too, no one dared tell him "no", but still seeing himself as the face of the Galaxy, he refused to do so.

The worst part was that they hadn't yet repaired the facilities for arbitrary things like artificial insemination. This meant that Shepard and Kaidan would have to go outside their marriage. That was fine with both of them for Humanity's sake, and they did want children. The problem was that while Kaidan had a natural attraction to women, Shepard did not.

Of course as a lesbian, it was a difficult thing for Samantha Traynor to swallow as well, having sex with a man that is. She chose Shepard for the same reason, because he was gay. Neither were comfortable with the whole thing, but she knew he'd be gentle at least. She respected him and Kaidan a great deal and thought they'd make great parents.

The fact that they saved the entire galaxy together was just a giant cherry on top. She knew both of them had a list of women requesting their sperm that had to have carried on for miles, Asari too, and she was damn lucky that Shepard said 'yes' when she asked. No doubt, Kaidan had something to do with that as well.

"Let me go take the fertility test and see," she said as she rose from the couch. A few minutes later she called down, "I'm ready." She really wasn't but it was too late now.

"It's no big deal. It'll be fine, and we'll be getting a baby out of it. We're lucky she agreed to move to Vancouver so that we could be involved," said Kaidan.

"It's gonna be a well loved kid, that's for sure. Just glad you'll be here for moral support."

"She's hot, can't say I won't enjoy it!"

He took Shepard's hand and led him up the stairs. They had agreed on the guest room as to not "taint" theirs. When they entered, Sam was on the bed in her standard issue Alliance underwear. Nothing special, they'd both seen it before on her and other women.

"I can't do this...I'm sorry, Sam. It's not you, but there's absolutely nothing going on down here," said Shepard as he waved his hand in front of his flaccid cock. He turned to leave, but Kaidan stopped him with a deep kiss.

They stood there for a while kissing passionately until Shepard's body started reacting to his. Kaidan walked him back to the bed and gently pushed him onto it. He motioned for Shepard to move further onto the bed before he climbed on top of him. He stripped him bare as he tried to reassure him that everything would be okay. Traynor quietly took in the view.

"I'm right here," said Kaidan, "I'm not going anywhere. Just concentrate on me, okay? And the amazing night two days ago. Remember that?"

"Yeah, I remember. Fuck, you're beautiful!"

Sam was a little turned on by seeing how much they loved each other. Everyone on the Normandy had known about them forever despite them trying to hide it. Of course, they'd been married for awhile now, doing so almost immediately after the Normandy hit atmo on its return home. But no one had ever seen them like this before.

It was an incredibly beautiful thing to witness up close. She was sure that no two people had ever been more in love. She considered herself to be extremely lucky to be a part of it, to see it from the front row, to be invited into it so intimately. She was sadly single but knew that they would give their baby at least one stable set of parents. She couldn't ask for more than that.

Kaidan bit Shepard's lip before he climbed off of his sprawled out body. He looked to Traynor with a nod for her to take over. Shepard's eyes tracked him as he did so, not daring to break his gaze. No way could he have done this on his own. Thank the Spirits for his husband.

Traynor did as instructed, obeying his silent order out of habit. She slipping out of her slightly dampened panties curtesy of what she had just watched. She'd seen enough porn in preparation to know what was coming next, but that didn't make the whole thing any less awkward.

Shepard felt her hands pressing into his chest as she lowered her hips. _Small, much too small._ He felt the warmth of her folds as she hesitantly continued her descent. _Not...unpleasant._ Like she was pulling off a medi-gel patch, she sunk down onto his hardened length. _Different. Fucking Fertility Directives._

"Sorry!" she said. She wasn't sure if she had hurt him or startled him when he winced.

"Just keep going," he replied, quickly locking eyes with her before returning to Kaidan's.

Kaidan had leaned back against the headboard as he watched her begin to roll her hips. Traynor was attractive and exotic. She hadn't taken off her bra, but his eyes were still fixated on her bouncing breasts. He was starting to get hard at the sight in front of him, but he ignored it. He was there for Shepard and they hadn't discussed anything passed that.

One of Shepard's hands moved up to her thigh on instinct. Hers moved down to rest on his without thinking. When Shepard realized it, he took the other and wove his fingers into Kaidan's. He wondered how his husband was doing with the whole thing and how he was going to feel when the rolls were reversed.

"Stay with me, Admiral," she teased. She hadn't been with a man before but she could tell he was "losing steam".

Kaidan bent down and kissed him for comfort, his free hand cupping Shepard's cheek, thumb running over one of his scars. He was hoping that his excitement wasn't written on his face, but he doubted he could slip anything passed Shepard anymore, not that he could before. They'd been together far too long for that anyway.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Shepard asked him dryly.

"Not on purpose, but she's hot," answered Kaidan.

"I can see that. I'm gay, not blind," he quipped.

"I'm right here, guys...," interjected Sam. She slowed her rhythm before continuing, "I don't have anyone to hold my hand," her pouty lips making Shepard chuckle.

"I'm pretty sure I am," said Shepard as he squeezed the hand on her thigh in sync with his oscillating eyebrows.

"Not what I meant. And I'm the one doing all the work!" Her confidence was growing. How many people could say they slept with the Savior of the Galaxy? How many could say they were going to have his baby? Well, two at least, two at most. Four if you count Kaidan's which Shepard would.

"You don't think I know what to do in the bedroom? I assure you, Kaidan can attest that I do!"

Like it was a challenge, he rose to it. He flipped her over and smugly smiled when she laughed out loud. How different could it really be from what he'd done to Kaidan every night for the past five years? Not counting the two when he was dead. If he had to have sex with a woman, he might as well try to enjoy it.

"Don't get used to this," he smirked to Kaidan.

"I wouldn't dream of it...but I might."

She was a lot softer than Kaidan, smoother, too. _No body hair._ But she was tiny. He hoped that he wasn't going to crush or break her. She was wet. _Weird..no lube._ He plunged into her, and she gasped at the force. _Yeah, Kaidan does that, too._ He chuckled at the thought as he looked up to give him a wink. Kaidan's eyes were filled with lust.

"Don't you dare, Major!" he said as he saw Kaidan's hands creeping downward to the burning in his briefs.

"What? I wasn't...I'm not. Yes, sir, Admiral," a half-assed salute accompanied his reply. He wasn't a Major anymore but he still loved when Shepard called him that, unlike Shepard who hated when he called him "Admiral"; he had a preference for Commander. The glare Kaidan got from that always made him smile.

It was a long five minutes after they started before Shepard or Traynor were relaxed enough to enjoy the process of making a baby. But they did, eventually settling into an easy pace. He hadn't realized when she wrapped her legs around him. That was probably because she was so small he could hardly feel them.

"Will you kiss me?" asked Traynor, hoping it wasn't too much for him. She just wanted to try it out. She had kissed a boy before in her teens. It was thanks to him that she realized she was attracted to women.

"What do you think, Major?"

"I'll allow it," Kaidan replied, like a judge handing out his ruling.

"Dammit, you were supposed to say 'no'," he said.

"Hey!! I'm a good kisser. You'll see," Sam insisted. Shepard leaned in and gave her a peck. "Not what I meant, Commander."

He huffed and leaned back down, her hand holding his neck tightly so he couldn't pull away. He pressed his lips against hers, and she wormed her tongue into his mouth. _Not bad! Guess she was right._ She tasted like Kaidan, and probably like himself, exactly like the wine they had been quaffing since she arrived.

"I've kissed girls before, you know. Spin the bottle is far too popular on military bases for me to have gotten through basic without it," he said after breaking free of her lips.

"Was that a compliment?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, he's bad at those," replied Kaidan.

Kaidan ran his hand down Shepard's back which gave him chills. _Gotta finish. Need him...and maybe a shower._ He increased his thrusts, his breathing shallowed with it. He figured that he was doing something right when Traynor started to moan, her hips rolling upward into him as he pumped away.

"Fuck! How do you know how to do that?" she asked enthusiastically through her pants. Shepard had no idea what she was talking about, but he continued since she liked it.

"You like that?" is all he could think to say. _Idiot!_

"Very much! Just don't stop!"

"Told you I was good! Kaidan says that too!" Shepard looked up at him, but he had tilted his head back onto the wall, eyes shut tight. He couldn't take the sights if he couldn't relieve the yearning it brought him. His breathing had increased along side theirs. "Hey, look at me."

"It's too much," he said refusing to do so. "Way too fucking hot...."

"We're about to make our baby and you're gonna watch me do it!" said Shepard with a firm follow-my-orders tone. Samantha's hands were dancing on his back. The rhythm of his thrusts alone were enough of a turn-on that he didn't technically need Kaidan anymore to keep him hard.

"Is that an order?" he said playfully, finally looking down at him  
.  
"Yes, it is." He slowed his momentum for a second. "This is our baby. I need you here, if not physically, emotionally. I love you!"

"I love you, too!" Kaidan said with kiss on Shepard's lips.

"And we love you too, Sam!" he said. Kaidan nodded as he drew his fingers through her dark hair. She smiled up at them. As awkward as it was when they started, there was something special about it now.

It just felt...right.

Shepard reestablished his rhythm as he plunged into her soft walls. _I get the appeal, she does feel good!_ Every thrust was accompanied by a breathy moan from Traynor. He sped up until he was on the verge of braking. He felt Kaidan's hand frolicking through his hair. He looked up at him, eyes glued warmly to his, as he administered a couple more deep strokes.

She wasn't mentally prepared to come on the cock of the galaxy's savior, but damn was it glorious. She arched her back, her muscles clenching wildly on his length, one hand fisted in the sheets, the other tangled within Kaidan's. Best she could remember, but maybe that was because their intention was a baby.

Seeing the end in sight, Shepard surged forward like the waves that crashed nearby. He gave one last look at Kaidan before he burst his seed deep within her. The feeling of come spreading inside her was a new experience. A pleasant one, if she had to admit it. That was due to Shepard she thought. If anyone could turn her, he'd be the one she'd bet on to do so.

They all laid there for a minute in a comfortable silence. Shepard was the first to move. He gave Sam a kiss on the forehead before retreating to the comfort of their shower. She was right about the view, even the bathroom overlooked the ocean. Kaidan gave her a sweet kiss as well before following him out.

"It wasn't too bad was it?" he asked as he stepped under the warm water.

"Only because I had you with me. It was nice...different, but nice. This is better though," said Shepard as he pulled Kaidan taut against his wet skin.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," Kaidan said with a kiss.

"That's my line," he said with a cheeky grin. "Miranda will be here next month. I hope that'll be enough time to rebuild my resolve. Is that too close together? They'll be like twins only not."

"I figured that you'd be looking forward to it. I know you two have a special relationship considering she was the one to bring you back, the first face you saw when she did."

"She wasn't the first face. I could've sworn you where there...well, you were in spirit anyway and that was enough. But it was Jacob...no...actually, it was the guy who got ripped apart by an Atlas, but I wasn't really looking at his face so much as the hulking machine behind him and then his intestines on the glass."

"You can make anything sound romantic!"

"I'm surprised she is willing to give us full custody. I'd figure she'd be opposed considering everything she went through with her father. But unlike him, she trusts us."

"Yeah, and she has a kid already. She of all people knows how much we want one," assured Kaidan.

"Looking forward to Jack? I sure as hell am!!" Shepard said with a devilish grin.

"Why'd she ask me? I figured it'd be you."

"She likes you. You're the only one who's ever rivaled her biotics. She sees it as a challenge. Don't disappoint! And yes, that's an order. Damn, our kids are going to be talented AND beautiful!"

"Anymore thoughts on Rahna?"

"I'm sorry, K. It's just, I, I think I have to veto that one. If it wasn't for your past. You know I can't...ugh...I just don't like the idea of it, you having a kid with your first love, someone you loved. I can't give you a child, I feel inadequate or some shit like that because she can. That's stupid isn't it?"

"I understand. And no, it's not stupid. Besides, I'm pretty sure that in nine months you will be giving me one considering the performance I just witnessed. I think you made her come! That's not always easy with a woman. Anyway, I've had other offers. What about that Kelly girl? You like her."

"I love Kelly, but HELL NO! Way too perky."

"Kasumi's out after she stole our wedding rings!"

"She sent them back engraved. It was her wedding present to us!"

"Mine says, 'Fuck, you're beautiful!'," said Kaidan unamused.

"In her defense, I do say that a lot. Mostly to you," he teased.

"Yours says, 'Fuck, I'm beautiful!'."

"It's not wrong..."

"Allers?"

"Vetoed!" said Shepard.

"Khalisah?"

"Do you know how many times I've punched her in the face?"

"None," replied Kaidan dryly.

"Yeah, but I've thought about it A LOT! No reporters...I think we've had enough of those."

"Well, who's left? It has to be someone we know. We can't have a baby with a stranger. And I don't care how much Joker pays us, I'm not sleeping with Ash's sister!"

"Why didn't I think of that? You totally are!"

"Yeah, I know...Just don't tell him. It'll just go to his head."


	2. Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone breaks in which obviously leads to sexy times!

_*Bang*_

John was woken up by a loud noise in the middle of the night. He still had nightmares every few days, and at first, he couldn't tell if it was a dream or someone breaking in. He couldn't imagine someone being that stupid...but he'd met a few Conrad Verner's in his day.

"Kaid? Did you hear that?" he whispered as he sat up. 

Kaidan mumbled something indiscernible and John knew he had woken him up. Kaidan wasn't a heavy sleeper, so if John was the one to wake him, than it must've been a dream. If there had really been a strange sound, his husband would have heard it.

But then, the crash came.

They both shot out of bed like a bullet from a gun, reaching for their briefs that had been thrown carelessly about hours earlier. Speaking of guns, they both grabbed the ones they had strapped to their matching side tables and headed to their bedroom door, adrenaline pumping harder than it had since they retired. 

It wasn't shut, they were the only ones in the house. John peeked out but couldn't see anything in the darkness. Who or whatever it was was downstairs rummaging or moving around. Kaidan flared his biotics and engulfed them with a blue barrier tickling their bare skin. They were pretty much naked and it would have to do. 

"SHIT!" said a muffled voice that echoed up the stairs.

They rushed out the door and down to the ground level. John punched up the lights, gun trained in front of him, as Kaidan readied a stasis field to bathe their intruder. But it wasn't necessary.

"Don't point that thing at me, asshole!" Jack demanded, broken lamp in hand.

"That was a gift from my parents," Kaidan huffed dryly.

"Jack!" John said as he rushed to her with a little more enthusiasm than he should have, but he hated that lamp. He picked her up and twirled her around. "What are you doing here? You're like three days early. Not that I'm complaining. It's been too long."

"Yeah, well I'm fertile now, so we need to get this shit over with. Can't believe I'm letting my best friend's husband knock me up."

"Good to see you too, Jack," Kaidan said. 

"Yeah, yeah. We gonna do this shit or what?"

"You're not going to talk like this around our kid." It was more of a statement than a question.

"You're gonna make such a good mommy, Alenko. Now just fuck me already," she said as she started to strip. "Care to join us, daddy?" she winked to John.

"You want me to fuck you too?" he asked, crossing his arms in amusement. John and Kaidan hadn't talked about that before hand. They knew they had to abide by the Fertility Directives but they both wanted the other to be comfortable with everything that they did. "You'll have to ask, mommy," he winked back.

"What's that Garrus says, 'Just like old times.' So what's it gonna be?" she said turning back to Kaidan.

"What do you mean 'old times'?"

"Awww shit, you bastard! You didn't tell him we fucked?" she asked turning back to John.

"WHAT?" Kaidan bellowed.

"It never came up," John shrugged. He put his arms around a stunned Kaidan and pulled him close. "It was a one-time thing along time ago."

"When?"

"The night we fought on Horizon....I was angry and upset and furious and pissed and brokenhearted and drunk and so many other things. It just kinda happened," he sighed and kissed his cheek. "You still want to do this? If you're not comfortable, I understand....I would've said something, but, no offense Jack, it never crossed my mind," he explained sincerely. 

"I didn't think you liked women?"

"I have a very, very strong preference for _YOU_. And it was more about releasing my rage than who it was with. No offense Jack," he said with a grin. "And no, I don't like women...most women. But come on, it's Jack!"

"I'm releasing a perfectly good egg here while you boys argue over the past. We're supposed to be making a future!" Jack shouted, buck naked in front of them. 

"I still can't believe it," Kaidan said bewildered.

"Really? She's not exactly _feminine_...still not completely convinced that she's a girl." 

Jack slapped him for that. "Don't take it personally, Alenko. When he came, he screamed your name. I had to punched him in the face for that."

"It's true," John said softly, rubbing his cheek.

She stepped back and smiled as they watched her hand slither down her chest, over her breasts, passed her stomach, and onto her clit. "I've been thinking about this all day and I'm wetter than that ocean we'll be swimming in tomorrow," she said, a finger dipping into her folds. Without warning, she pulled her fingers away and jabbed them into John's mouth. 

"GROSS!" he said, pulling away. 

Kaidan was a tad bit jealous before, but after that, he knew he had nothing to worry about. He could only smirk. "Fine, but no kissing," he relented. 

Like it was a challenge, Jack pulled John down to her lips and kissed him hard, tongue forcing its way into his mouth. John was holding one of Kaidan's hand, the other found itself tangled in her hair. His husband wasn't objecting, so he kissed her back. He forgot how good of a kisser she was, but he finally broke away and nodded towards Kaidan. She got the hint and kissed him too.

"You're going to eat me," she whispered to Kaidan after she pulled away from him.

He looked at John wearily. A threesome was not exactly what he had in mind when he agreed to Jack's offer, but he should've known she'd pull something like that to keep them on their toes. She had her mind set and he knew better than to try and change it. John seemed to be okay with everything from the smirk he gave him in response, and he sighed in defeat. 

That sigh turned into a multiplied gasp when Jack reached into both of their briefs and grabbed their cocks. A devilish grin painted her lips as she gave them both a slow stroke from head to base and back up again. Without removing her hands, she walked them to the couch and pushed John down onto it. 

He reached under a cushion and pulled out a small tube of lube with a smug smile. Jack looked at him with surprise. It took a lot to get her to make that face. She was good at being calm and collected when people tried to shock her, but she couldn't help that her eyes widened at the sight of it.

"What? We have _a lot_ of sex," he explained.

"Yeah, get it out of your system while you still can. When this thing pops out, that'll be the end of it," she answered. "Well? Hurry up, I'm waiting." One of her hands was still down Kaidan's briefs stroking slowly, the other on her hip.

John could only shake his head with a faint smile as he popped off the top and poured a little lube on his cock. He rubbed it on, looking up at his husband with his bright blue eyes. Kaidan was looking down at him, eyes half-lidded, mouth slightly agape, breath shallowed. 

"I'm surprised at how turned on I am at the sight of a woman's hands on your cock, Love. Than again...still not convinced she's not a dude," he snickered. 

Jack scowled at him. She turned and positioned herself above his cock and sank down hard and fast. 

"SHIT! Jack," he panted.

"Lick my pussy," she said to Kaidan, a huge smile on her face. He reluctantly dropped to his knees.

"Thought we were supposed to be making a baby," Kaidan bemoaned. 

"Really, Alenko? Ever heard of foreplay?"

"Oh, yeah! He's heard of it," John answered for him, peeking down at him from over Jack's shoulder. "You okay with this, K? If you're not, than say the word and I'll kick her ass out. Naked even."

"Just rusty is all." There was no way in hell Jack would ever let him live it down if he backed out.

"Like riding a bike," Jack laughed.

Kaidan rolled his eyes. 

It was an odd sight to see his husband balls deep in some chick's ass. Not some chick, his future baby's mother's ass. _Fuck me...might as well get it over with..._ He sighed and bent down. His tongue slowly traced the line between John's balls. He heard him gasp with pleasure and smiled at his work. 

_Yeah, that was me, not Jack._ Maybe he was still a little jealous. He took one of John's balls in his mouth a sucked gently before releasing and continuing upward. His tongue lightly traced the slit of Jack's folds until he reached the apex. 

She took in a hard breath when he sucked her clit into his mouth. Her hands fell to the back of his head to hold him in place. She hadn't expected for them, Kaidan specifically, to go along with her this far. And she certainly hadn't expected for Kaidan's mouth to be on her clit or for him to be so good with his tongue. She clearly underestimate him.

"Shit, Kaidan," she moaned. She never used his first name. Ever! He smiled. He knew exactly what that meant. "Shame you waste that talent on him," she teased, elbowing John.

It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman. To be honest, he didn't even miss it. John didn't give him time to. He always wondered how he got the energy to fuck him everywhere on the Normandy, in the middle of a war to boot, between fighting and diplomacy. But he couldn't complain. It had only increased exponentially since the war ended. Yeah, he didn't miss women at all.

Before he knew what happened, Jack had pulled him up for another deep kiss. He almost asked if she had a condom before realizing that a baby was the whole point of this night, and he wasn't looking forward to having to do this again. She was a good kisser, though. Not as good as John, but no one was. 

She pulled him closer and he had to straddled both of their thighs to enter her. It felt good; she felt good. Pumping and thrusting into her velvet walls, her muscles conforming to his hard cock, her perky breasts pressing into him, hard nipples rubbing over his chest when he lunged forward. He worked his lips over her neck, she was soft. John met him halfway over her shoulder for a long, sensual kiss.

"Yuck, you taste like Jack," he grumbled after. "Ouch," he hollered out when she sunk her nails into his thighs in retaliation. "I meant, yum, you taste like Jack..."

Kaidan grinned and kissed him again. He was pretty much setting the pace, John couldn't pinned under the weight of both of them, neither could Jack as she was being filled with their cocks. He didn't know what to do with his hands at first. Somehow they found their way to her hips and John's were entwined with his.

"You guys are fucking awesome! I have both the First and Second Human Spectres in me...I'm pretty sure that makes me a goddess among bitches!" Jack stated proudly.

"My legs are starting to cramp," John groaned. "You're turn to be on the bottom of our baby making pile, Major." 

Kaidan chuckled softly and stood up from the couch. Jack pulled him down next to Shepard on the couch with a little help from her biotics. She kissed Shepard over her shoulder while she eyed Kaidan to make sure he was watching. His eye rolling was interrupted by a grunt when she jumped off John and onto him.

John kneeled on the floor and licked his tongue up her back before nibbling her neck. His hands were massaging Kaidan's thighs, light circles giving him goosebumps.

"Damn Shepard, I've never been more jealous of Alenko in my life!"

She was a lot softer than Kaidan. Although by now, he considered himself a pro with the ladies. First Samantha three months ago, success on the first try. _Yeah, I'm that good!_ She was set to move in next week. Then Miranda a few weeks ago, jury's still out on that one. Now, Jack who was also planning on moving in when she's pregnant.

Then it hit him.

"Shit Kaidan!" he said pulling away. His tone was slightly that of panic and Kaidan shot up to look at him. Jack craned her neck back to do the same.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"I don't think we planned this well. I mean, yeah sure I wanted to get it over with, but...if this works...we'll have three infants in less than a year." 

"Sure, it worked on the first try with Sam, but this may take longer—"

"Miranda is genetically engineered to be perfect. I know she's already pregnant. I feel it. And hello! It's Jack. she's probably going to scare the egg into getting itself fertilized....I think I'm gonna pass out," he said, breathing hard.

"You're such a fucking drama queen," Jack snickered. "In case you forgot, asshole, you're not doing this alone. We might have to expand the place, though," she added, looking around.

"What?" Kaidan asked. 

She ignored him.

"She's right. We have my parents right down the street, which was kind of the point of moving out here. We'll have Sam here for who knows how long. Although, I don't look forward to her and the baby moving back to the city. Jack'll be there with her. But now that I think about it, it's too far for them to be away from us. Shit, Shepard! I think we are gonna have to expand!"

"Would you two knock off your overreacting tantrum throwing? And Shepard get inside me!" Jack instructed. "These kids are gonna have the biggest family in the whole galaxy, most loving too. They're going to be fine, and so are we. We defeated the Reapers for fuck's sake. A couple of ankle biters are nothing compared to that."

"I'll hold you to that in nine months," John said.

"Uh huh. Not at the rate we're going. Now, hurry up!!"

"You know how much I hate to agree with Jack, but she's right," added Kaidan.

John bowed his head in defeat. They were right, too late now. Might as well get it over with and hope that Ash's sister isn't in too much of a hurry to get pregnant. Maybe they could put that one off for a year or so. He smiled up at Kaidan warmly. He laughed deeply and rose to his knees.

"How did you do this?" he asked Kaidan as he tried to work out the logistics of reentering her. "Don't tell me..." He spread Kaidan's legs apart and looked at Jack annoyed when she starting bouncing on Kaidan's shaft. Maybe he was a little jealous. _I should've thrown you out, Jack._

He swung one thigh over Kaidan's and put his other into between his legs. Jack was tight, but enveloped him easily. Now, it was his turn to set the pace and he wanted both of them to scream his name when they all came. He started rolling his hips and Jack must've liked it because her head fell back onto his shoulder. He didn't care, it gave him a better look at Kaidan. 

Shepard kissed him hard before going to work on Jack's neck. Kaidan was kissing her collarbone at the same time and she began to let out breathier moans. He looked right at Kaidan and sank his teeth into her neck. 

"You are so fucking sexy. I wondered what it looked like when you did that to me. Guess we could've found a mirror though," Kaidan said.

John winked at him and leaned into Jack. She was forced to press herself into Kaidan in response. She let out a growl and kissed Kaidan. John kissed him when she was done leaving him nearly breathless. Jack was getting close, but John sensed that Kaidan needed a little more encouragement.

"Fuck, you're beautiful!" John said as he pulled them both off the couch and onto the cold floor in front of him. Neither were expecting it, both grunting when they hit the ground. John gloatingly chuckled.

"I know," Jack snickered smugly.

"I love you, Jack, but that was definitely not for you!"

He had to admit, Jack felt good, and was a nice change of pace, but all he wanted to do now was to fuck Kaidan. He let out a hot breath on Jack's neck as he slowly entered his husband. Kaidan arched his back into them. Jack was about to say something chastising to John about being the guest of honor, but when Kaidan pushed up into her, her mind went blank and only a whimper escaped.

The heat of John at her back and Kaidan's surprisingly well hung cock in her soft walls was enough to satisfy her. She was even content enough to let John continue setting the pace. He would surge forward and her hips would do the same, both of them rolling over Kaidan's hard body before retreating at repeating. 

One of her hands was on Kaidan's abs nearly clawing into his skin with every heavy thrust. The other was wrapped around John's neck as he exhaled on her shoulder. But his eyes were locked onto Kaidan's, watching his body quake beneath them, his lungs nearly faltering. And the hunger in those brown eyes were enough to make him come unglued.

He leaned down, forcing Jack with him, trapping her between them, kissing Kaidan's full lips, breathing him in, his own lungs rejoicing in the oxygen that Kaidan's expelled from his. John pressed their foreheads together, every thought of Jack disappearing from their minds as she was squeezed out of the way. Before Jack could object, they both came, bodies twitching a seizing up. Jack's too as she came shortly after.

Then, they all collapsed into a sweaty heap. 

Jack huffed and extricated herself from between them. "Assholes! I had to get myself off," she bellowed. 

But they didn't hear her. She still didn't register to either of their sex-riddled brains, both of them lost within the other, John's waning erect still buried in Kaidan as they kissed. It was long and drawn out, rendering them oblivious to the entire universe around them. Like usual.

"You two are disgusting. Can't keep your lips off each other for two minutes..."

They didn't answer. Kaidan's legs were wrapped tight around John's hips as he stood from the floor, helped along by Kaidan's biotics. He slowly walked them over and up the stairs, neither willing to break the kiss to tell her good night. Kaidan had slimmed down a bit due to the rationing, but John would've carried him up even if he weighed a ton.

"You guys fucking suck!!" she yelled as John slammed the door behind them. She said it with a smile, though. She would never admit it, but she loved seeing them happy together. She did, after all, have to watch Shepard mope all over the Normandy during her time aboard. She much preferred the kissy,gooey version.

John carried Kaidan over to the bed and dropped him onto it, laughing when he bounced and pouted up at him. 

"No, no, no! Shower," ordered Kaidan. John smiled warmly at him and picked him back up.

"Anything for you after your traumatic Jack experience," John quipped. 

"Please don't make me do that again," he said as John turned on the water. "I'm mean it was fun and all, especially at the end when you were in me, but—"

"Yeah, I know K. I don't like sharing you either. We'll get our babies and that'll be the end of this weird chapter in our life. Of course, it's not up to me. I've done my duty. Now, it's up to your sperm."

"Not sure what to say about that," Kaidan replied with an odd smirk.

"How about 'The rest of my sperm belongs to you, John'?"

"I love you! And it does. As much as you can handle," Kaidan smirked before kissing him hard.

"I love you too, Sweetheart. So fucking much!"

"You're gonna be such a great father. I'm so glad I picked you!"

"Hmmm. And here I thought it was involuntary, that you had no choice but to submit to my charm," John teased, reaching for the soap and lathering it up.

"You got it wrong. Of all the people in all the galaxy, I _chose_ you! And I won't have it any other way. I am shocked that you're ego's not going into overdrive at that."

"Nah, it knows how lucky I am," he said before crushing their lips together once more.

"What if it doesn't take? I don't think I can do that again. I mean, Jack's great, but that was intense. I felt like a mouse that was being played with by a tiger." 

"You did good. She was pushing to see how far she could take you. I think you passed. If, _if_ you have to do it again, she won't be so forceful, I hope. And I'll sit out if you want."

"Oh no you don't. If I have to go through that shit, you do too. For our kids! It's only fair," he snickered.

"Uh huh...whatever you say, Kaid," he said with a kiss to his temple.

"Kinda scared to sleep with her in the house."

"I locked the door. I got your back."

"You have no idea how much I love you!"

"I have a pretty good idea," John said with a cheeky grin. "I imagine it's just as much as I love you which is a ridiculous amount."

"That's sounds about right. Three down, one to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I got Jack right. I haven't written her much. Also, mind the errors. I haven't spent as much time as usual editing this. I just wanted to get it out since I said I would.


End file.
